雑煮で
ケンカしてんじゃねーよ
雑煮で
ケンカしてんじゃねーよ
お正月に
いっしょだなんて
そもそもシアワセ
な話じゃろうがい！

お正月
僕がお雑煮つくるよって
彼がいきなりアズキを
煮込みだしたから
それぜんざいじゃん！
って全力阻止して
ママ直伝のお雑煮を
つくったら
なんで味噌？
味噌にしても赤いし
って言われて
カッチーン
もう大ゲンカ
あんな変な
ぜんざいやろー
絶対ゆるさなーい！

彼って鳥取とか島根のひと？
あ、鳥取
じゃあ　お雑煮はアズキで正解
え？
あなたのおかあさんの出身は？
三重だけど
なるほど、でも赤みそのお雑煮って
全国的にはマイナーだから
マジ！！？？

ざっくり東日本と
九州全域
四国の半分
中国地方の
瀬戸内海側が
すまし汁
関西と
四国の東側が
白みそ
アズキ汁は
鳥取・島根と
岡山の一部
赤みそは
三重・福井界隈です

アズキ汁のお雑煮も
赤みそのお雑煮も
どっちも
だいじに
受け継がなくちゃね
だから

雑煮で
ケンカしてんじゃねーよ
雑煮で
ケンカしてんじゃねーよ
お正月に
いっしょだなんて
そもそもシアワセ
な話じゃろうがい！

わたしの話も聞いて
お正月
彼の実家で
お雑煮食べたら
お餅から
甘々の餡（あん）がでてきて
ロシアンルーレットかよ！
って反射で言ったら
その場がスーーン
いや、うちのぉ
おばあちゃんちのお雑煮は
甘いくるみだれで
食べるんですよーって
がんばったけど、
彼がノーフォロー
あんんんの
マザコン！

彼の実家って、香川県？
そうですが
で、あなたのおばあちゃんちは岩手県？
当たり。
で、母方のおばあちゃんは
きなこにつけて食べますけど
それがなにか！
あー、おばあちゃんは奈良かしら、
って、私にキレないで

おおよそ東日本が
四角いお餅、
西は丸餅
高知と鹿児島にも
角餅のお雑煮があり
お餅を
焼くのか煮るのかも
大問題
四角いお餅は
焼いて入れるのが優勢で
丸いお餅は
煮るのが
優勢なのです

仙台雑煮に
ハゼ１尾
どーん
九十九ノリノリ
はば雑煮
富山、エビ！
愛知、餅奈（もちな）！
広島、牡蠣（かき）！
愛媛、じゃこ天！
ところ変われば
具も変わる！

北海道の
お雑煮は
地域によって
バラバラで
沖縄
お雑煮を
食べずに中身汁
ともかく

雑煮で
ケンカしてんじゃねーよ
雑煮で
ケンカしてんじゃねーよ
お正月に
いっしょだなんて
そもそもシアワセ
な話じゃろうがい！

きゃっきゃしながら
食べればいいじゃろがい！

Zouni de
KENKA shiten ja nee yo
Zouni de
KENKA shiten ja nee yo
Oshougatsu ni
Issho da nante
Somosomo SHIAWASE
na hanashi ja rougai!

Oshougatsu
Boku ga ozouni tsukuru yotte
Kare ga ikinari AZUKI wo
Nikomi dashita kara
Sore zenzai jan!
tte zenryoku soshishite
MAMA jikiden no ozouni wo
tsukuttara
Nande miso?
Miso ni shitemo akaishi
tte iwarete
KACCHIIN
Mou OOGENKA
Anna hen na
Zenzai yaroo
Zettai yurusanaai!

Kare tte Tottori to ka Shimane no hito?
A, Tottori
Jaa ozouni wa AZUKI de seikai
E?
Anata no okaasan wo shusshin wa?
Mie dakedo
Naruhodo,
Demo akamiso no ozouni tte
Zenkokuteki ni wa MAINAA dakara
MAJI!!??

Zakkuri Higashi Nihon to
Kyushu zen'iki
Shikoku no hanbun
Chuugoku chihou no
Setonaikai-gawa ga
Sumashijiru
Kansai to
Shikoku no higashigawa ga
Shiromiso
AZUKIjiru wa
Tottori, Shimane to
Okayama no ichibu
Akamiso wa
Mie, Fukui kaiwai desu

AZUKIjiru no ozouni mo
Akamiso no ozouni mo
Docchi mo
Daiji ni
Uketsuganakucha ne
Dakara

Zouni de
KENKA shiten ja nee yo
Zouni de
KENKA shiten ja nee yo
Oshougatsu ni
Issho da nante
Somosomo SHIAWASE
na hanashi ja rougai!

Watashi no hanashi mo kiite
Oshougatsu
Kare no jikka de
Ozouni tabetara
Omochi kara
Amaama no an ga detekite
ROSHIAN RUURETTO ka yo!
tte hansha de ittara
Sono ba ga SUUUN
Iya, uchi noo
Obaachan chi no ozouni wa
Amai kurumidare de
Taberun desu yoo tte
Ganbatta kedo,
Kare ga NOO FOROO
Annn no
MAZAKON!

Kare no jikka tte, Kagawa-ken?
Sou desu ga
De, anata no obaachan chi wa Iwate-ken?
Atari.
De, hahagata no obaachan wa
Kinako ni tsukete tabemasu kedo
Sore ga nanika!
Aa, obaachan wa Nara kashira,
tte, watashi ni KIREnaide

Ooyoso Higashi Nihon ga
Shikakui omochi,
Nishi wa marumochi
Kochi to Kagoshima ni mo
Kakumochi no ozouni ga ari
Omochi wo
Yaku no ka niru no kamo
Daimondai
Shikakui omochi wa
Yaite ireru no ga yuusei de
Marui omochi wa
Niru no ga
Yuusei na no desu

Sendai zouni ni
HAZE ichibi
Doon
Kujuuku NORINORI
Haba zouni
Toyama, EBI!
Aichi, mochina!
Hiroshima, kaki!
Ehime, jakoten!
Tokoro kawareba
Gu mo kawaru!

Hokkaido no
Ozouni wa
Chiiki ni yotte
BARABARA de
Okinawa
Ozouni wo
Tabezu ni nakamijiru
Tomokaku

Zouni de
KENKA shiten ja nee yo
Zouni de
KENKA shiten ja nee yo
Oshougatsu ni
Issho da nante
Somosomo SHIAWASE
na hanashi ja rougai!

Kyakkya shinagara
Tabereba ii ja rogai! 

Don't get in a fight about zouni
Don't get in a fight about zouni
Because we're together on New Year's,
in the first place we should be making a ruckus about happy conversation!

On New Year's,
Because I was making zouni
My boyfriend suddenly put azuki beans into the stew
"Now it's red bean soup!"
and I tried to stop him with all I could
If Mama was making the zouni as she always did, she'd ask
"Why is it miso? If that's miso it's red"
And BAM!
It was a big fight
And all because of that weird red bean soup
"I definitely won't forgive this!"

"Is your boyfriend from Tottori or Shimane?"
"Ah, Tottori."
"Well, then it's correct he put azuki beans in zouni."
"Eh?"
"Where is your mother from?"
"Mie, but-"
"I see... but zouni made with red miso is actually pretty minor nationwide."
"SERIOUSLY!?"

Approximately all of Eastern Japan and Kyushu, half of Shikoku, the Inland Sea area of the Chugoku region prefers clear soup.
Kansai and the eastern side of Shikoku prefers white miso.
Azuki bean soup is preferred by Tottori, Shimane, and part of Okayama.
Red miso soup is preferred by the nearby Mie and Fukui.

Whether the zouni is azuki bean soup,
Whether the zouni is red miso soup,
Whichever it is,
you'll prefer the more important one,
So...

Don't get in a fight about zouni
Don't get in a fight about zouni
Because we're together on New Year's,
in the first place we should be making a ruckus about happy conversation!

"Now here's my story."
On New Year's,
When eating zouni with my boyfriend's family,
A sweet, sweet bean paste came out from the mochi
"What is this, Russian Roulette?!"
The moment I said that,
Everyone just went *swoop!*
"Uh, I meant, my grandmother's type of zouni comes with sweet walnuts that we eat"
And he tried his best,
but my boyfriend was not following
"Ugh, that mother complex!"

"Your boyfriend's family is from Kagawa?"
"That's right."
"Then, your grandmother is from Iwate?"
"Correct. Wait, but my maternal grandmother would eat mochi with soy flour, what does that have to do with this!?"
"Ah, I wonder if your grandmother is from Nara - also, don't get mad at me."

Approximately Eastern Japan prefers square mochi, and West prefers round mochi
But Kochi and Kagoshima would have cubed mochi in their zouni
It's possible mochi can be grilled or boiled, but that's a big problem
It's best to grill square mochi,
and boiling round mochi is the way to go

Sendai's zouni includes goby fish
Boom!
The Kujuku Islands are pretty hot about haba zouni
Toyama - shrimp!
Aichi - mochina!
Hiroshima - oysters!
Ehime - jakoten!
Change the place
and you change the food!

Even Hokkaido's zouni
is scattered from the rest of the regions
In Okinawa
they don't eat zouni but nakamijiru
So in any case

Don't get in a fight about zouni
Don't get in a fight about zouni
Because we're together on New Year's,
in the first place we should be making a ruckus about happy conversation!

If we eat while reacting about,
it'll be a good kind of ruckus!